Two-year anniversary!

On Sunday, E & I celebrated two years together. Leading up to the anniversary, I felt more anxious than usual about our relationship--pretty much how I felt last year, though I think I handled it better. Last year, I was so anxious to get that "one year" mark under my belt. I wanted the intensity of my feelings to be matched by a history together that was more quantifiable, so passing the one year mark meant a lot to me. "We've been together for a year" means something to people.

The whole weekend was relaxed and we spend all of it together, with the exception of a "Chocolate & Spice" party we went to on Saturday night. Sunday we had brunch at Yuca Bar, where I had some awesome eggs benedict on arepas with cilantro hollandaise. Eric & I rarely (i.e. never) do brunch together, so this was a nice change of pace. We're not so into brunch because of 1) lines 2) waiting/still takes awhile to get breakfast 3) food's just like what you get at home, but thankfully this place didn't have any of those problems. But really--When I order pancakes now, I know they won't be as good (or to my liking) as the ones we make. That's what I like about eating at home--doing it just the way you like.

Sunday, as you may remember, was the Super Bowl, so I felt incredibly lucky that my boyfriend is not a sports fan at all. One out of seven years together dealing with the Super Bowl isn't all that bad, but thank god I don't have to deal with him vegging out in front of the game every weekend (though now that I think of that, replace game with recorded concerts...). We dined at Gentleman Farmer, which was absolutely lovely. My favorite was the lobster appetizer. It had this solid beurre blanc sauce that was fantastic. They also had no corkage fee because it was Sunday, so we stopped at got a decent bottle of wine ($16). Eric's not a big wine connosieur so I just wanted to get something that would be delicious for both of us. I'd like to be able to drink that nice of wine more often--something quaffable. There really is a huge difference between $5 and $15. Curses!

Apartment Update

I moved into my new apartment the last weekend in February. I stressed so much about the move, while E was chill the whole time (figures). The total cost of the move ended up being little more than one cab fare on the very last day with a few extra bags, so I was very, very happy with how that worked out. I didn't really have any furniture, except for my bed, which I sold, but I still had a nightstand and mounds of clothes to move. The move ended up happening in three parts. A couple weeks before the move, E had borrowed a friend’s car since he was going to multiple Trey concerts. We moved a bunch of stuff after work, which was great.

Then, the second-to-last week in February, E had to rent a car for work. The only car they had at the time was a huge plumbing van, like the kind serial killers use. He decided to take it, even though it was a pain to drive, since it would be convenient for the move. It was so big I had to help navigate. Anyway, that was fabulous. We were able to load up my nightstand, side table, mirror, and my millions of bags. I didn’t really have boxes, so a lot of stuff I just piled into random large purses and garbage bags. The next day, I scoured craigslist for cheap furniture and we ended up buying two bookcases for the apartment (for under $100!) that fit quite easily into the van. I was also very happy because when E bought a bed a few months ago the security guy yelled at us because it’s a co-op and you have to use special moving passes whenever you’re moving stuff, so they can pad the elevators. You’re also not allowed to use luggage carts to move furniture. We disobeyed both of those rules but didn’t get yelled at again, for which I was grateful.

The weekend after moving in my stuff, we went to Home Depot and bought everything you could possibly need for home improvement...well, almost everything. A drill, drill bits, screws, superglue, picture hanging things, extra hooks. A really nice worker helped us, and he told us to fill out this customer service thing online, which I did. I hope he gets recognized for his good work!

E turned out to be a whiz with the drill and it feels so nice to have hooks and, thus far, one picture hung. The only problem is my plant hook. In my last apartment, my philodendron hung from my window, but I think by our windows it’s steel, because even our masonry (aka concrete) bit wouldn’t go through the wall. It’s now hanging precariously in the middle of the living room because it seems to need to have all its leaves hanging to survive. I just bought a side-mount plant hook at Kmart during my lunch break so I hope that that will do the trick.

I’m pretty happy with the new space, but I hate hate hate all the old fixtures. There is just decades of grime that won’t lift, no matter how hard you try. The enamel coating has worn off the 60s-era sink and bathtub, so it’s porous and stains quickly and leaves weird dirt streaks. Doors are broken and shredded and don't close very well and are covered with layers and layers of paint. Our kitchen cabinets don’t close. The whole apartment needs to be repainted. A lot of things are covered in paint from the previous haphazard paint job. The toilet leaks. The ceiling has water damage that we need to call maintenance about. We’re missing blinds (working on that) and are hit with blinding afternoon sun on the weekends. The areas that do have blinds have orange or blue mini blinds. I hate 60s and 70s-era color choices. The floors are a little scuffy-looking….and did I mention WE DO NOT HAVE A DISHWASHER??? This is very dire, given that we cook EVERY DAY and have all these nasty dishes in the sink. I bought some heavy-duty washing gloves at Home Depot that hopefully won’t hole up in like a week like the other ones. At least that way I can wash in hot water AND have hands that don’t feel painfully dry. However, it is really frustrating to be in an apartment that needs so much fixing up. Laura, I am jealous of your well-refurbished apartment. However, I need to keep the benefits in mind: HUGE apartment (by New York standards). 19th floor view of NYC, Brooklyn Bridge. A balcony to go outside and enjoy the view. Laundry in the basement (another only-in-New-York-it’s-a-luxury). Rent…well I think the rent is reasonable by New York standards (at least when it’s split with boyfriend), but it’s still like mortgage-level.

Oh yes, and an apartment to share with the boyfriend!! I’m actually really pleased with how far we’ve come already with the apartment, and we have a Salvation Army pick-up in a couple of weeks so we’ll have a little more space in our closets (another New York luxury). But that doesn't mean that when I'm searching for my next place I will want it to be sanded and painted and have non-vinyl, chipping countertops. Ugh. My apartment and I definitely have a love-hate relationship.

Google solves problems for the would-be lovelorn

I like to type existential questions into Google. I'm thinking of taking a big step in my relationship (moving in, not the other one), and I'm filled with all those fears and doubts the way people of the Sarah persuasion are, and I came across this article about knowing if someone is "the one".

I started crying when I read this:

"I remember sitting on an old davenport in a tiny cabin on the Washington coast years ago, having a tearful conversation with Mr. R about this very concerning concern. He was pretty convinced that we were IT. Yes, but how did he know? I still wasn't sure.

Finally, he said in pure flabergastation (flabergastification? flabergastedness?) something like this:

There is no ONE. No one that exists out there in pure form, in spiritual perfection, in theoretical bliss. We make it the one every single day...in what we say to each other, in how we treat each other, in what we do together. On dog walks and in car rides, over dinners and through disagreements. So stop looking for some theoretical one out there in never-never land. And agree to make this the one, each and every day, with me."

It was exactly what I needed to hear. She even touched upon my greatest fear earlier in the article (before the quote), that twenty years down the line I'll change my mind. And how can that even happen? How can you be with someone so long and not have it work out? That scares me to death. If you "make" it the one, you have control over your situation, you're choosing to love someone. They're choosing to love you. At the same time, I have a problem with wanting to have control over things that are uncontrollable. Part of me feels I should just flow with whatever happens to me. And what about the things you can't really control? What about the ways that you're initially drawn to someone, like physical chemistry, having similar things in common, or life goals. What if those change? What, oh god what, do you do if the passion fades away? (Another one of my fears). I guess there is nothing left to do put keep thinking and feeling and wondering...and eventually, believing.

One month

So I've been dating this boy for one month now, today actually, though I'm not really the type to keep track and celebrate that kind of thing. I like him. After our first weekend together we said we wouldn't date anyone else, which is essentially a bf/gf relationship. But I'm still scared to call him my b*******d. I've tried throwing the word around, and I like the idea of shouting it out from the rooftops in the abstract (i.e. facebook, where all those ex-hookups can see and hopefully be jealous), but the idea of introducing him to strangers as my boyfriend freaks me out. I mean, I guess I'm comfortable having close friends know, but I think what I must be scared of is how I judge couples. I always evaluate to see if they are a good match, if one of them seems to be dating down or up, what they see in each other. I also look at how confident a couple seems with each other, which can influence my judgment, making me care less or care more about a quality that, unmediated, would have a very clear reaction in me.

Anyway, I think I'm almost ready. Soon, soon.