When it rains, it pours

Timeline:
Two weeks ago: received email about job offer. applied. scheduled interview.

Monday: "dentist appointment" aka interview

Thursday, 4pm: email saying, "I can't let you know until HR makes an offer" (do I have the job?)

Friday, 5pm: I have the job!!!

Monday: I need a formal offer letter! Go home during lunch to fill out recruiting forms.
Monday, 5pm: offer letter received!
Monday, 5:15pm: letter of resignation. Can I leave in two days?

Tuesday: filing and forwarding documents like crazy. checkout and signatures. exit interview.
Tuesday, 6pm: training for new job

Wednesday: more filing, emailing. write good-bye and thank you emails. print plane ticket, job packet for new job. reading of internet publications unrelated to job. gchats relaying awkwardness of entire situation.
Wednesday, 5pm: Sayanora!
Wednesday, 5:15pm: pick up steaming bagels from Murray's to bring home to parents, stinking up new sportsac to the point where it will need to be washed
Wednesday, 8:10pm: wheels up!
Wednesday, 10:45PST: wheels down!
Wednesday, 10:55PST: discover parents have not yet left for the airport.
Wednesday, 11:40: Daddy!
Thursday, 12:20amPST: HOME! ye olde manse. nary a cockroach to be found!! sleep.